First published February 2022 in Flyy Girl Zone Magazine updated September 2024
The social stigmas surrounding mental illnesses are a major cause of Black men and women not getting the help they need. Ultimately, avoidance only makes things worse in the long run. We all have friends or relatives who were abused as a child and struggles as an adult. It could be your friend who grew up in the foster system and escapes abandonment betrayal through substance abuse. Perhaps, it’s a male cousin who was sexually abused as a child, and is promiscuous with different women as a coping mechanism. Maybe it’s a parent who struggles with paranoia and developed an obsessive-compulsive disorder. Mental illnesses aren’t that uncommon in the Black community, and given the amount of stress we encounter daily, it would be abnormal if it didn’t affect behavior.
In the Black community, stressful encounters are “normalized,” as if it is expected. We expect Black parents to talk to their sons about how to handle police encounters; and, from what I've learned from male friends, police encounters chip away at one's livelihood. We also tend to overlook what our friends and family members are going through because bottom-line we love them. We may jokingly say, “He needs some serious help,” and brush off the behavior without reproach.
As women, we ostracize the female family member who discloses being abused without encouraging her to heal. Why is this? Because our community is too protective and prideful to address scandals within the family[1]. However, that’s another topic for another day. But these issues are deeper than not wanting to get help to cope with stress or other serious mental disorders.
Historically, our enslaved ancestors didn’t have the luxury to stop and take care of their mental health. Ultimately, the habit of ignoring the problem was passed down through the bloodline. Another reason Black Americans choose not to rely on doctors is because our community doesn’t trust the health care system, and with great cause—The Tuskegee Experiment doesn’t compare to the atrocities our ancestors faced. But another major cause is in-group stigmatization and how we judge one another. In Hosea 4:6, the word says, “My people are destroyed from lack of knowledge...” This is why we must discuss stress, anxiety, and depression and how our family is affected.
What if I told you stress was one of the most overlooked mental disorders known to man? Check this out, everyone encounters stress throughout the day, but we are unaware of it and do not deal with it effectively—have you noticed how often your co-worker checks the clock for a cigarette break? It’s his way of coping with stress. But putting a definition to stress may make it easier to understand, diagnose, and manage.
Stress is our innate ability to respond to dangerous situations and triggers our ability to fight, be frightened, or walk away. We inherited the fight, fright, and flight response from our ancient ancestors, which benefited them when they hunted. Today, stress signals an imbalance in our lives. Whether the cause is working too much or not getting enough sleep, stress indicates it’s time for us to slow down and take care of ourselves. Not paying attention to stress can cause mental instability.
Ignoring stress can lead to anxiety. Think about it. If you work more than one job—or a demanding one—manage a household, and have children, how are you releasing the stress and tension that come with those responsibilities? Some people do not know how to balance their lives to manage stress so that it doesn’t escalate into anxiety. But then again, how can anyone recognize anxiety if they have no idea what it is?
Do y’all remember that episode on Soul Food where Teri had an anxiety attack? Some of y’all may be too young to remember, but you can watch it here. If you watch the whole clip, you will see that Terri is overworked, overwhelmed, and doesn’t take the time to practice self-care. Her sister Maxine invited her to come to a meeting with her Sister Circle, but she turned her down. Teri didn’t recognize that not managing her stress and having an unbalanced work-home life contributed to her anxiety.
There are three different types of anxiety disorders2: Generalized anxiety disorder (GAD), panic disorder (PD), and social anxiety disorder (SAD). The most common markers of GAD are excessive and debilitating worry, changing topics in the middle of a conversation, moodiness, sleeplessness, body aches, and nausea to name a few. But GAD often goes misdiagnosed because we attribute it to someone’s idiosyncrasies. Think about that one friend who gets overly excited when she talks and jumps from one subject to the next and sometimes fails to finish her sentences because she gets distracted easily. She may get on our nerves, and we may attribute it to quirkiness without recognizing the signs of GAD. Hence, the reason GAD goes undiagnosed.
Teri’s panic attacks on Soul Food are dramatized for television, and not everyone is going to experience having a panic attack in the same way. Panic disorder is often characterized by an overwhelming feeling of doom like something bad is about to happen[2] or that you are going to die. Some other symptoms of PD include chest pain, sweating, heart palpitations, shortness of breath, and chills or hot flashes4. The scariest thing about PD is that you never know when a panic attack will surface causing agoraphobia[3]. Panic attacks could happen anywhere, but they typically don’t last for long periods of time.
Do you remember how nervous you were in high school when you had to give a book report in front of the class? What about when you gave your first speech in English 101 during your freshman year of college? Well, that kind of anxiety is nothing like SAD. Social anxiety disorder is more intense and can hinder someone from living a fulfilling life. The Anxiety & Depression Association of America says that “social phobia is an intense anxiety or fear of being judged, negatively evaluated, or rejected in a social or performance situation3.” For instance, Lashauna often rejects invitations to go out with her friends because she fears something will happen to her. In fact, Lashauna only goes to work and small get-togethers at her family and friends' homes. Her fear of social settings often depress her[4].
The signs and symptoms of depression are more prominent than anxiety and stress, but some people view it merely as stress. However, other people know they are depressed but refuse to acknowledge it. One of the main reasons Black women refuse to admit to or get help for depression is because of the debilitating strong Black woman myth.
In my junior year of college, I applied to the McNair Program, a scholars program, and in my essay, I wrote how I wanted to dispel the strong Black woman stereotype because it hinders our growth. I believe one reason we accept this stereotype is that it is our means of protection. Stigmas on what depression is, along with dramatized character roles, also contribute to misdiagnoses. So let's take a look at what depression is and how it affects us.
According to the American Psychiatric Association, “[d]epression (major depressive disorder) is a common and serious mental illness that negatively affects how you feel, the way you think, and how you act1.” Not everyone experiences depression the same, but we must know what we are looking for (see “Difference Between Grief and Depression below). What we may not realize is that depression has a deeper meaning than what we can learn in any psychology course. While the cause of depression for some may be a chemical imbalance in the brain and a response to a traumatic experience, depression has more to do with the spirit than anything else.
We must realize that we are an organization of interconnected systems, and each one affects the other. For instance, when we feel pain and aches in the body it affects our mood, and how we process information. Consider how you feel when you have a headache, but you have to go to work. You are not going to be in a good mood at all, and you may even snap on one of your co-workers. Recall a time when you felt stressed and your neck and shoulders hurt, or how your chest tightened when you got angry. What we do not consider is how depression—mental illnesses—is the spirit signaling for you to slow down and pay attention to what is going on around you.
Really, your spirit is sending a message for you to make a choice. That choice may be between letting something go or hanging on to something else. Just like our body grows our spirit grows too. However, our spirit cannot grow if it is weighted down with the baggage we choose to carry. No one can decide for us whether we elevate or depress, it is ours to make. If we choose to elevate, we must let go of and heal past traumas.
Mental disturbances such as stress and anxiety are signals for us to pay attention to what is going on in our lives. But they are also signals for us to lighten our load so we can elevate to the next level of our existence. It is your choice whether you want to elevate or not, but the alternative is battling depression. Social stigmas about mental illness may deter us from seeking help, but do not let them keep you from leveling up. If you need to, seek help from your pastor, spiritual advisor, or therapist. Even better, you can seek the counsel of the Holy Spirit to reveal and guide you on what to do.
The key to healing a mental disorder is remembering that it is not a life or death sentence. If you or a loved one has been diagnosed with a mental illness, I advise you not to rely solely on medication to treat your illness. Medication serves only to mask the illness—kind of like a fad diet—and it alters brain function. Make sure you inform yourself of your diagnosis and be proactive in your treatment. Doctors are not right all the time; they do make mistakes. You are in charge of your care, and you have rights.
When you are feeling better, discuss with your doctor about decreasing your medications and changing your diagnosis. If the doctor tells you nothing has changed, find a different doctor. Whatever you do, DO NOT suddenly stop taking your medication without the supervision of a doctor. Your brain has become dependent on the medications, and when you stop taking them without decreasing over time, your brain can go through withdrawal, which can lead to suicide ideation.
If you or your loved one need immediate attention, seek medical help. If your loved one is having a mental health crisis, you can have them committed to a psychiatric ward for 72 hours—only if you need to. Healing a mental illness is not that hard, but it can be complicated when not properly informed. Some people do not want to dive deep enough into the subconscious to get to the root of the problem. At any rate, be patient with them and yourself. In the worst-case scenario, traumas and medicating too early can have long-term effects on individuals, but for others, it is nothing more than a cold of the mind.
Notes
[1] Recall the grandmother who kicked her granddaughter out of the family for participating in pornography (not the video). I will not say her grandmother wasn’t justified in her feelings. I do not know how I would respond. But how could this have been prevented in the first place? If the granddaughter knew the history of Black women in this country, would she have participated in her own sexual degradation?
[2] Much like a panic attack a premonition or heightened spiritual awareness can mimic the “overwhelming feeling” of “something is about to happen.” More on how mental illness relates to spiritual gifts later in a future issue.
[3] Agoraphobia is a form of anxiety characterized by the fear of leaving one's home due to safety concerns.
[4] Social anxiety should not be confused with people having a personal choice to not socialize. A person’s choice to stay to themselves doesn’t make them anti-social either, but they could be anti-drama.
References
1. American Psychiatric Association
2. Anxiety Disorders
3. Anxiety & Depression Association of America
4. Panic Disorder
5. Psychology Today
YouTube Videos
Teri’s Panic Attack Soul Food
WARNING!!! Psychiatry can be hazardous to your mental health
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